i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
how drunk are you?
Several
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
