I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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