Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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