Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
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