I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
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