he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Randomize
