a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
