Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize