He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
How external is "for external use only"?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
