So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
