just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
