Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Boobs speak an international language.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
