I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The air was thick with penises
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize