I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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