4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
