Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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