she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize