you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
where are my pants?
in the oven.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
