12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
