I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
