You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize