i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
