i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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