chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
