Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
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