Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
