Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
