Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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