guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
