She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
