Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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