She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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