Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
