You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize