oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
