I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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