I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
