You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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