Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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