wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
