i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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