his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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