I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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