There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
