You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My ass is underappreciated
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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