i was born a porn star she said
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
