i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
So squirting runs in the family.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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