I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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