Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You can't just leave with hair like that
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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