we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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