Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Too much gin, very little bucket
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
A+ Viking dick
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
