I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize