I cut my penus on the lid.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Someone shattered a urinal.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
