I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
