So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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