Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
