Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
