I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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