I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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