Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
