Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
