Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
