I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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