We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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